


relationship status: classified

by onemorepineapple



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Detective Sasuke, Doctor Sakura, Espionage, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29232510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemorepineapple/pseuds/onemorepineapple
Summary: When someone comes up and says, “I apologize for disturbing you but would you pretend to be my girlfriend for just a few minutes?”- stab them with a fork and don’t pretend to be their girlfriend for the next few minutes because that’s weird and a few minutes will actually turn into a timeframe that is much, much longer but it’s still temporary and pretend so don’t go catching feelings.The one where a fake relationship is established and things like lying, spying, and nearly dying become a daily occurrence.She really should have stabbed him with the fork.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 57
Kudos: 103





	relationship status: classified

**Author's Note:**

> title credits go to the wonderful TheRedConverseGirl (as does the beta-ing for this!!!! i will not die like a man today). i was struggling for real to come up with a title and she burst in with this and i was like lets gooooo. and i had to commission sorceressmyr again because her art is so good and she always does such a fantastic job! 
> 
> i did the poll on tweeters on which wip to post next and fake relationship won by a landslide so, hope ya'll enjoy this! bc i'm pretty excited about what's in store.

cover by: [@sorceressmyr](https://twitter.com/sorceressmyr/)

DO NOT REPOST!!

* * *

She’s in the middle of reading her book when she feels a warm body slide next to her in the booth and an arm comes to rest on her shoulders. She tenses and reaches for her fork (and yeah it’s plastic but she can still stab the hand laying on the table) and then she feels breath tickling her ear and her grip tightens on the fork, ready to take aim.

A voice, low and velvety, washes over her skin like warm, summer rain. “I apologize for disturbing you but would you pretend to be my girlfriend for just a few minutes?”

Did she just enter into a movie? Or the romance novel she may or may not be reading right now instead of her school textbooks? Is this guy serious? And is she seriously considering being nice? …yes. Yes she is because she’s a nice person and when someone needs help she has a difficult time turning people away. Sighing, she loosens her grip on her not so great weapon and picks up her book, leaning into the intruder causing his arm to tighten just a little more.

She glances up only to immediately glance back down and tries not to blush (and failing epically because her face is turning into a furnace). He was looking around, face turned away from her but from the angle she can clearly see he is very _very_ attractive. Ino’s going to flip her shit when she tells her about this later. 

She feels him tense next to her.

“Sakura, so lovely to run into you outside of work.”

Oh shit.

Planting a smile on her face, she looks up to see her department head peering at her and the man next to her with curiosity. His smile is always the same. The cheery, fake smile that never fails to make her skin crawl. 

“Is there something you need Kabuto? I hate to be rude but my boyfriend and I are just enjoying a quiet lunch before we get back to our busy lives.”

His glasses flash as he pushes them up, grey eyes focused on her and she represses a shiver.

“Pardon my intrusion then, Sakura. I’ll let you get back to your… date.” He bows slightly and walks towards a vacant table that has a clear view of the two of them.

The strangers’ breath is back to tickling her ear and neck and his nose is against her cheek. Swallowing hard, she returns her attention back on the book and _just because he’s a little hot doesn’t mean he’s not a total weirdo_. To the outside world, it probably looks as if he’s pressing a kiss to her and she’s trying very hard not to let this affect her any more than it already is.

“You know him?”

Humming, she turns the page and brings her cup to her mouth to shield the words forming, she wouldn’t put it past Kabuto to read their lips. “He’s my attending physician at Konoha General. I work under him as a resident.” She pauses and looks up to meet eyes darker than onyx. Her hand clenches a little harder on her drink. “He’s not the one you’re trying to hide from is he?”

“Aa.” Is that a yes? Because that's a very vague answer, but it’s also a strange coincidence that Kabuto would be the one he’s trying to get away from, especially since it essentially put him in an even more precarious position because of her relationship with the man.

His eyes search her, intense and sharp, before he brings up his other hand and brushes back strands of her hair that have fallen out of her ponytail, long, calloused fingers cupping her cheek. 

Oh god. She’s seen this movie before. Read this book. Oh god. And she’s acting just like the female character turning into a pile of goo because of a handsome stranger requesting a weird favor. Oh god. She can’t hide her blush. Her face is burning. Oh god why.

She takes a deep breath, smiling. “He’s still staring, isn’t he?”

He hums, eyes never straying from hers and she won’t take notice of his handsome (too handsome) face and how his jaw is cut from granite. Nope. She will not be that heroine. Looking down at her watch, she sighs. It’s time to head back to the university. He takes the hint and removes his arm from her and she loses the warmth that had been seeping through him, feeling cold, as if she’s standing outside with no jacket on. 

She packs up her things in her small bag and stands up, having to bend her neck upwards because of their apparent height difference. Out of the corner of her eye she can spy (can _feel_ ) Kabuto watching them and slides her coat on, fiddling with the scarf in her hands for just a moment and then she makes her decision. He blinks at her and something akin to surprise flickers in his eyes as she starts to wrap it around his neck. He’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt and that’s hardly going to protect him from the bitter cold she knows is waiting for them outside of the cafe (and it brightens up his all black attire (and really it’s like he leapt from the pages of her books). 

She settles her hands on his chest (oh my those are some toned muscles he has there) after she finishes tucking her red scarf around his neck. Perhaps she needs a moment to mourn the loss, she spent hours perfecting the knitted scarf in that craft class she took with Hinata and Tenten. In any case, she needs to hurry this up so they can go their separate ways and she can stop conjuring up the several outcomes of this storyline. The unbelievable, unrealistic, idiotic scenarios that are obviously not going to happen because this is not fiction, this is real life, Sakura.

“That should keep you warmer, I don’t know why you insist on ignoring my requests for you to wear a jacket.” With a sense of boldness she’s not sure the origin of, she rises on her tiptoes and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Avoiding his gaze because her face is now perpetually redder than her scarf, she places her hands on his bicep ( _holy_ \- he is _stacked_ ) and begins to lead him out. The back of her neck prickles from Kabuto’s continuous stare. 

Once they’re a safe distance away from the cafe, she looks back to make sure they haven’t been followed and when she’s satisfied she doesn’t see her boss, she drops her hands and steps away from the stranger who’s making her insides flutter. She loses the warmth of being next to him, the cold wind prickles her bare neck and they walk in silence. When they’re close to the university, she turns to him to bid him a farewell. 

“Oh! No-” he pauses from taking the scarf off, staring at her with a blank face. It only increases her anxiety. “You can uh keep it. It’s cold out and you really do need something else to shield you from the weather. It’s supposed to snow later…” 

He studies her for a long moment and she shifts from one foot to the other, fingers toying with the hem of her coat sleeves. He really has this brooding, intense hero thing down.

“Sakura, is it?” Oh jeez. She nods, throat dry and unable to form words because _why_ does her name sound so so- “Thank you.”

“Uh- sure, yeah,” she shrugs and tries to play nonchalant and before she does or says anything _stupid_ she turns and heads to her next class. It takes a long time for her heart to return to its normal pace.

* * *

She informs Ino (who proceeded to berate her for not getting his name or number _and god forehead how could you pass up on such a perfect fucking opportunity for like the greatest love story ever_ ) and they come up with a small cover story in case Kabuto decides to ask too many questions.

And sure enough, three days later after she finishes her rounds, he stops her on her way out of the hospital. 

“Sakura, you did fantastic work today. Eiji seems to be doing very well since the operation.”

Tucking stray hair behind her ear, she offers him a polite smile. “Thank you, Kabuto but Ino helped out, too. It was a team effort.” She takes a step around him and starts to walk to the exit. He always takes note of her accomplishments, even when she works with others. Ino calls him obsessive and she tends to agree.

He falls into step with her. “I hope I’m not being too intrusive, but I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend. You never mention him.”

“Not at all. I just generally like to keep my personal and professional life separate. And he’s a very private person- we both are.” She shrugs, keeping composed. 

“I see. How long have you two been dating?”

She glances up at him, wondering if this is solely because of his weird fascination with her or because of the (tall, dark, handsome) guy. 

“Just a few months.”

“And you’re aware of his family and his history?”

That makes her pause. So they do know each other. 

She levels Kabuto with a cool look and works to deflect in a manner that won’t raise suspicion.

“I don’t make rash decisions, you of all people should know that.” He consistently comments on her level-head and her meticulous thinking when it comes to difficult cases.

Grey eyes glint behind his glasses. “Of course, Sakura. I don’t mean to offend you, I simply... I have concerns.”

The audacity. She takes a deep breath. “Your concern is noted, but uncalled for, Kabuto. I’ve gone this long without bringing my personal life in here with me and I intend to keep it that way.”

He takes a step back, smile still painted on his face. “My apologies. I’ve just heard many rumors of the Uchiha’s and- well, I’ll respect your privacy. Enjoy your evening, Sakura.”

She hopes _hopes_ that he didn’t notice how her body reacted when he said Uchiha. _Uchiha_. Oh holy mother of- _Uchiha!?_

Her mind whirls the entire way to her apartment because dear god is she really in some kind of crazy action-romance fictional story? The Uchiha’s are infamous and there are rumors that, while most of the family is in charge of the police force, they are yakuza. Dangerous yakuza that hold the other crime families in the palm of their hands. Shaking her head, she fishes for her keys as the elevator dings. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not like she’ll see him again, anyway-

The sight of him leaning next to her door casually, like he belongs there, sends her nerves and heart into overdrive. At least he has a jacket on this time (black and leather, seriously, but also _damn_ ). And he’s wearing her scarf. 

She really is in a fictional story, isn’t she?

His eyes pierce through her as she takes the few steps from the elevator to her door. The keys in her hand jingle as she nervously fiddles with them.

“Here to return my scarf?” She hopes. And then leave her life forever because she does not need this kind of stress in her life. She does not need to become a heroine or- or- actually is he even the hero?

A brow raises, amusement flashing across his face.

“I thought I could keep it?” She almost misses the keyhole. Flustered, she opens the door and steps a foot forward and in a more serious tone, he adds, “We need to talk.”

She leaves the door open for him and tosses her keys on her table, glancing around her apartment that is most assuredly not as clean as she would like. After she removes her coat and scarf (the less perfect one she knitted but it does its job), she looks at him, standing in front of her door all impassive and cool and she lets out a weary sigh.

“Can I take a shower first? I just got back from the hospital,” she motions at her scrubs (it crosses her mind that maybe this is a bad idea but she can’t find the will to care right now). 

“Hn.”

What the hell does _that_ mean? Sighing again, she tells him to sit on her couch while she gets ready. She was planning on taking a nice, long, hot shower but that turned into a five minute lukewarm drizzle because it barely had time to heat up properly. Tugging on a sweater and sweatpants, she pads into her living room, throwing her still wet hair in a messy bun.

“Would you like some tea?” Far be it for her to be a bad hostess regardless of what might transpire. Too many questions entered her mind during her shower despite its shortness (why did he choose her when there were plenty of single people at the cafe? how did he know where she _lives_? what does he want to talk about? how does he know kabuto? is he yakuza? is he a cop? is he- yeah, so lots of questions). She’s almost a little surprised that he’s sitting on her couch and not nosing around, although it does look like he might have peaked in her textbook on modern poisons.

“Aa.”

...She’ll take that as a yes and begins to prepare the tea. “Uhm any sugar or…?”

He shakes his head and stands up, making his way to her small bar and sits on a stool. Brushing back her bangs, she finds herself tugging at a string on her sleeve at the intensity of his gaze as he laces his fingers in front of his chin. The whistle of her teapot never sounded so soothing and after she fixes their tea, she sets the cup in front of him.

“So… what did you want to… talk about?” Onyx eyes study her as she pours honey into her cup, not bothering to measure. She feels judged. “I like my tea sweet okay? And honey has a lot of health benefits…” she mumbles out the last part and starts to stir. 

“Hn… did Kabuto ask any questions?”

Here we go. “How long we’ve been dating. He also asked why I hadn’t ever brought you up and I just said we’re both private people.” She shrugs and brings the cup to her lips. “He _also_ asked if I knew you were an Uchiha.” It was miniscule, but she’s sure his lip twitched up. 

“Did you tell anyone else?”

“Just my friend, Ino. Mostly to corroborate our stories in case Kabuto questioned her. Wouldn’t put it past him…” She sighs when he raises an eyebrow. “I’m not saying this is an arrogant kind of way but I’m his favorite,” she scrunches her nose and shivers. “He’s weirdly… interested in me and my progress at the hospital.”

“Hn.” He hasn’t moved an inch, still studying her, fingers laced in front of him. His tea is getting cold and she’s trying not to be irked at that little fact. Finally, he disentagles his hands and takes a drink. “And what is your relationship with Orochimaru?”

Every bone in her body tenses and she has to set her cup down to keep from breaking it through her tightening hands. _That_ -

“He’s a fucking _snake_ ,” she practically spits out. “Our chief of the hospital was investigating Kabuto on suspicions of illegal activities and somehow Orochimaru slithered his way into the board and made it seem like _Tsunade_ was the one involved in illegally injecting patients and making experimental drugs and- and-” Her neck rolls and she leans against her counter, fingers dragging in her hair. 

He took over as chief of medicine. Took Tsunade’s place. After several deep breaths, she mutters,

“I don’t interact with him unless I have to. Kabuto is difficult enough to be around.” She straightens up and meets his gaze. “I’m assuming you already know my relationship with Tsunade, though. Probably even my association with Kabuto… I wasn’t random, was I?”

His mouth definitely tilts up this time and stays for a little longer. “No, you are not random, Sakura.”

Oh. Okay, maybe he doesn’t need to say her name anymore. Especially when he’s smirking like that. Clearing her throat, she picks up her cup again and tries to hide her flustering behind it, waiting for him to continue.

“I’ve been investigating Orochimaru and Kabuto for a while now but unfortunately when you’re from a family such as mine, it’s difficult to remain anonymous when digging up the necessary evidence against someone as… cunning as Kabuto. During one of the times I was following them, your name was mentioned several times, some in tandem with Tsunade. After doing my research… my superiors and I have formulated a plan.” He pauses, eyes burning into her.

She has a bad feeling about this.

“We need someone on the inside, someone who has Kabuto’s trust and can keep track of his movements in the hospital. You, Sakura, are going to be our informant.” There’s no _if you want_ or _if you’re comfortable_ or really any choice for her to make a decision of yes or no.

Yep. Bad feelings commence. “And… let me guess. You and I… you want our relationship as a cover so I can provide you with everything I see and hear within the hospital?” She’s a little (okay a lot) offended at the surprise flashing across his handsome features. Snorting, she sets the cup down. “I’m not an idiot, Uchiha. You should have seen that in your _research_.”

He stares at her, taking a sip of his tea.

“Sasuke.”

She blinks. “Eh?”

His smirk goes full blown and she thinks she might melt a little. “My name is Sasuke.”

Swallowing, she taps a finger lightly on the counter. “Ri-right. Well... Sasuke… what exactly do I get out of this? Because from where I’m standing it seems as if I’m being put in the lion’s den with little to no protection or benefits.” 

“Hn.” He’s quiet for a moment and then, “You want Tsunade back don’t you-”

He barely finishes his sentence when she responds, “More than anything.” 

“This is how you can do that. Be our informant and help us take down Orochimaru.”

She chews her lip. “And who exactly is _us_?”

Augh, she really wishes he would stop with the smirk thing. “I’m a detective, Sakura. You shouldn’t believe all the rumors you hear,” his low voice is laced with amusement. 

Right. Except even though she sure as hell doesn’t _trust_ Kabuto, she’s positive there’s more to the story than he’s letting on. She feels the need to tread carefully, however. Perhaps one step at a time. 

“Where’s your phone?”

“Uhm…” She retreats to her room and grabs her phone (with several missed messages from Ino and a few others) and sets it on the counter. 

He pulls out his phone and taps them together before standing. “Thank you for the tea, Sakura. I’ll be in touch.”

What- She gapes and shakes her head. That’s it? _I’ll be in touch_. What the hell? Exasperated, she picks his cup up and cleans it out, failing to notice his pause at her table. After she hears the sound of the door closing, she _thunk thunk thunks_ her head on the sink and thinks about what just happened.

She’s going to pretend to date an officer (detective), an Uchiha at that (ties to yakuza still to be determined because obviously he won’t _admit_ that), and basically _spy_ on Kabuto and Orochimaru. What the hell did she just get herself into? 

She should have stabbed him with the fork.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! leave a comment/kudos/emojis they are welcome, appreciated, and bring me much joy! hope ya'll are as excited about this as i am lol.
> 
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 🔥 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😱 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = mfing cliffhanger  
> 😩 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?


End file.
